Some couples have serious issues with constantly arguing in a relationship. In many cases, fighting happens so often that it becomes a type of bad habit in the relationship, happening ridiculously frequently. Though it is sometimes hard to break that habit, just as it is with any habit, this type of interaction needs to cease. There are several reasons that this is a very unhealthy way to live. Firstly, this type of consistent fighting can lead to harsh words and feelings, and even violence. It makes friends and loved ones very uncomfortable around you, and it can ultimately cause a break up in the relationship.
The first nasty result of constant fighting and arguing in a relationship is that there are harsh words said that cause harsh feelings. Saying, I'm sorry, is often not enough of a band-aid for some people. Many times, when people are angry at each other, even if they care a great deal for each other, they say things that they later regret and, at the time, do not even mean. Even if the argument is over and all is forgiven, this type of harshness sometimes hangs over into the relationship far after the altercation is over. Another thing these types of arguments can lead to is physical violence from either party. This is definitely a place you do not want this arguing to escalate to.
Another thing that can happen if you happen to argue with each other in the company of other people is that people will no longer wish to be around you as a couple. Having someone argue in front of you makes for a very uncomfortable situation. If this happens on such a regular basis that you become known for it, people will begin to decline social invitations, and may begin to avoid you both all together. Being known for constantly bickering is not a good way to be remembered by friends.
One final bad result of arguing all the time with your mate is probably the most obvious. Eventually, the arguing will become tiresome and too hurtful to bear. When this happens, it ultimately could lead to the break up of the relationship. Though at the time, breaking up may be the desirable alternative to consistent bickering, it is probably not the ultimate desire when the relationship first started. If you can find a way to get past the things that have been said before and forgive, you may be able to keep the relationship from falling apart.
The negative effects of constantly arguing in a relationship are not just on you and your spouse, though those are enough. Negative effects include harsh words and hurt feelings, sometimes escalating to violence, making others uncomfortable around the both of you, and breaking up. While these are all devastating effects to the couple itself, it is also devastating to those who are around and care for the couple as well. This type of conflict in a relationship is so negative and unhealthy, and if it is possible to resolve, it should be for the sake of the relationship
Monday, July 19, 2010
How to Multiply God's Blessings
The way to multiply God’s blessings in your life is by applying the law of sowing and reaping. If a farmer wants a greater harvest, then he just has to sow more seeds into the ground. He has to prepare the field more carefully, take better care of the weeds and water more regularly. In this article I want to show you how to apply these principles to your spiritual life.
Many of God’s blessings come to us no matter what we do. They just flow to us out of the goodness of God. He is working his good pleasures in our life every single day and we are not even realizing it. His mercy and grace for instance. You can’t do a thing to increase his mercies and his grace. They are just there for you every single day and they are new every morning.
His protection – God watches over you every moment of your life. The Bible says that God’s eyes are on the sparrow and he watches over you. You are the apple of his eye. He is your rock. He is your fortress.
Many other blessings are a privilege that we enjoy just by being a child of God. But then there are many blessings that have a little clause: “If you will... – then I will...”
This is the principle of sowing and reaping. And you know that if a farmer wants a greater harvest, then he just has to sow more seeds into the ground. He has to prepare the field more carefully, take better care of the weeds and water more regularly.
In the same way, if you want to increase God’s blessings in your life, you have to sow more seeds, prepare the soil of your heart, take care of the weeds and keep your soil moist.
Sow more seeds
I like the New Living Translation. It says in Luke 6:38:
“Give and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full – pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”
Often we think about money when we read this verse. But the principle here is: whatever we give or sow will not only return to us. Your return will always be much greater than what you sowed. Do you need a financial harvest then don’t be tight with your money. You always need some seed. So do not use all your limited finances to meet your needs. You have to use some as seed. Start out with small amounts. Then, as God blesses your faithfulness, sow more and more seeds.
Are you longing for some good Christian friendships? Sow seeds! Start to be kind and concerned about others. Show them that you care about them. Start to encourage others! Tell them that you appreciate them. Help them in practical ways. And soon you will see that your seed will produce a harvest of good friendships.
Do you think that you have nothing to give, that you have no seeds? Just read 2 Corinthians 9:10
“For God is the one who provides seed for the farmer and then bread to eat. In the same way, he will provide and increase your resources and then produce a great harvest of generosity in you.”
Just ask God to show you what you can do, what you can sow and then step out in faith and plant your seeds in the ground. I promise you, your harvest is coming.
Prepare the soil
This does not need much explanation. Jesus says in Matthew 6:33:
“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else (first), and live righteously (God’s way), and he will give you everything you need.”
Let me ask you a question: How much of your time, effort and resources goes towards the things of God? I tell you, I fall short on this one over and over again. That’s why we need to encourage each other to put God first. Isn’t it true, that we have time and money for so many things that we feel are so important. We have time to watch TV hours and hours. We spent time on our hobbies; we spend lots of money on our cars and so on. But we say we have no time to read the Bible. You will never find the time. You have to make the time for the most important things in your life: the things of God. The best way to prepare the soil of your heart to receive the blessings of God is to read and study the Bible, God’s living Word!
Let’s sum it up
The way to increase God’s blessings in your life is to understand the principle of sowing and reaping. If you give, you will receive. If you sow, you will reap. Ask God to show you what your seeds are and then step out in faith and sow those seeds and expect a plentiful harvest of God’s blessings.
Many of God’s blessings come to us no matter what we do. They just flow to us out of the goodness of God. He is working his good pleasures in our life every single day and we are not even realizing it. His mercy and grace for instance. You can’t do a thing to increase his mercies and his grace. They are just there for you every single day and they are new every morning.
His protection – God watches over you every moment of your life. The Bible says that God’s eyes are on the sparrow and he watches over you. You are the apple of his eye. He is your rock. He is your fortress.
Many other blessings are a privilege that we enjoy just by being a child of God. But then there are many blessings that have a little clause: “If you will... – then I will...”
This is the principle of sowing and reaping. And you know that if a farmer wants a greater harvest, then he just has to sow more seeds into the ground. He has to prepare the field more carefully, take better care of the weeds and water more regularly.
In the same way, if you want to increase God’s blessings in your life, you have to sow more seeds, prepare the soil of your heart, take care of the weeds and keep your soil moist.
Sow more seeds
I like the New Living Translation. It says in Luke 6:38:
“Give and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full – pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”
Often we think about money when we read this verse. But the principle here is: whatever we give or sow will not only return to us. Your return will always be much greater than what you sowed. Do you need a financial harvest then don’t be tight with your money. You always need some seed. So do not use all your limited finances to meet your needs. You have to use some as seed. Start out with small amounts. Then, as God blesses your faithfulness, sow more and more seeds.
Are you longing for some good Christian friendships? Sow seeds! Start to be kind and concerned about others. Show them that you care about them. Start to encourage others! Tell them that you appreciate them. Help them in practical ways. And soon you will see that your seed will produce a harvest of good friendships.
Do you think that you have nothing to give, that you have no seeds? Just read 2 Corinthians 9:10
“For God is the one who provides seed for the farmer and then bread to eat. In the same way, he will provide and increase your resources and then produce a great harvest of generosity in you.”
Just ask God to show you what you can do, what you can sow and then step out in faith and plant your seeds in the ground. I promise you, your harvest is coming.
Prepare the soil
This does not need much explanation. Jesus says in Matthew 6:33:
“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else (first), and live righteously (God’s way), and he will give you everything you need.”
Let me ask you a question: How much of your time, effort and resources goes towards the things of God? I tell you, I fall short on this one over and over again. That’s why we need to encourage each other to put God first. Isn’t it true, that we have time and money for so many things that we feel are so important. We have time to watch TV hours and hours. We spent time on our hobbies; we spend lots of money on our cars and so on. But we say we have no time to read the Bible. You will never find the time. You have to make the time for the most important things in your life: the things of God. The best way to prepare the soil of your heart to receive the blessings of God is to read and study the Bible, God’s living Word!
Let’s sum it up
The way to increase God’s blessings in your life is to understand the principle of sowing and reaping. If you give, you will receive. If you sow, you will reap. Ask God to show you what your seeds are and then step out in faith and sow those seeds and expect a plentiful harvest of God’s blessings.
God's promises of fruitful living... How do you assess it?
The Bible is filled with God's promises for you. The question is, when will you see His promises manifest themselves in your own personal life? When can you expect God's promises and blessings to show up at your doorstep?
I am going to give you the answer right now: You can expect all of God's promises every day and every moment of your life. You might receive His gifts and blessings right at this very moment as you read this article.
James 1:17 (New King James)
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
First, God's gifts to you are always good and perfect. God never gives you second class gifts. His gifts will always be good and perfect for you. They will be a blessing to you. They will make you happy. They will increase and prosper you and they will satisfy you in your innermost being.
Secondly, God is eager to poor His blessings and gifts out over you. We read in James that every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
Other translations say: 'who does not change like shifting shadows'.
Now get this! Here is the picture: There is a sundial in the sand. It's a stick in the sand. And as the sun moves from rising to going down, the shadow of the stick turns. There is always a shifting shadow. Except for one time in the day there is NO shadow at all. What time of day is that? It is at high noon. When the sun is at its highest point there is no turning shadow, there is no shadow at all.
God is telling you, that He is always on His peak, the zenith! Rejoice, my friends, because God is ALLWAYS on the highest point. He is always ready to pour His good and perfect gifts and blessing into your life. He is always there! No sunrise and no sundown! He is never too tired to attend to you needs. He is never bothered by your requests! He is never occupied with other important tasks! He is always ready to pour His goodness into your life. Always, every moment of the day.
If I would be preaching this right now, I would make my audience shout a loud Hallelujah!
I want you to expect the goodness of the Lord at any time in your life. No matter what your circumstances are, expect the good and perfect gift from God in your life. Look for them! I am not talking just about the great and extraordinary things. I am talking about every little good thing that happens in your life. It is God pouring out His good gift over you. Be thankful and you will experience more and more of His goodness.
In closing I want you to ponder on the following scriptures that talk about His promises.
2 Corinthians 1:20:
"For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God."
The YES is God's guaranty and your AMEN is you accepting that promise for your life
Romans 11:29:
"For God's gifts (His promises to you) and his call are irrevocable"
They are good forever! There is no expiry date or 'best before' stamp on God's promises.
Psalm 31:19:
"How great is the goodness you have stored up for those who fear you. You lavish it on those who come to you for protection, blessing them before the watching world."
God loves to lavish His goodness on you to show everybody around you that you are His child.
When can you expect God's promises, His gifts and goodness in your life? I pray that by now you are absolutely convinced that you can expect them every moment.
Why don't you make the scripture verses that I shared with you in this article the confession of your faith? Embrace the promises of God on a daily basis.
The prophet Isaiah in chapter 61:1-3 revealed the ministry of our Lord Jesus.
The Year of the LORD's Favour
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favour
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendour
Everything that Isaiah wrote about, God is doing for you. When? He will do it at any time because God is always on His highest point, like the sun at high noon. No turning of shadow! No 'buts' and no 'ifs'. God is ready to pour his gifts, blessings and goodness out over you like a gigantic flood.
Are you ready for it? I pray for you that you are.
I am going to give you the answer right now: You can expect all of God's promises every day and every moment of your life. You might receive His gifts and blessings right at this very moment as you read this article.
James 1:17 (New King James)
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
First, God's gifts to you are always good and perfect. God never gives you second class gifts. His gifts will always be good and perfect for you. They will be a blessing to you. They will make you happy. They will increase and prosper you and they will satisfy you in your innermost being.
Secondly, God is eager to poor His blessings and gifts out over you. We read in James that every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
Other translations say: 'who does not change like shifting shadows'.
Now get this! Here is the picture: There is a sundial in the sand. It's a stick in the sand. And as the sun moves from rising to going down, the shadow of the stick turns. There is always a shifting shadow. Except for one time in the day there is NO shadow at all. What time of day is that? It is at high noon. When the sun is at its highest point there is no turning shadow, there is no shadow at all.
God is telling you, that He is always on His peak, the zenith! Rejoice, my friends, because God is ALLWAYS on the highest point. He is always ready to pour His good and perfect gifts and blessing into your life. He is always there! No sunrise and no sundown! He is never too tired to attend to you needs. He is never bothered by your requests! He is never occupied with other important tasks! He is always ready to pour His goodness into your life. Always, every moment of the day.
If I would be preaching this right now, I would make my audience shout a loud Hallelujah!
I want you to expect the goodness of the Lord at any time in your life. No matter what your circumstances are, expect the good and perfect gift from God in your life. Look for them! I am not talking just about the great and extraordinary things. I am talking about every little good thing that happens in your life. It is God pouring out His good gift over you. Be thankful and you will experience more and more of His goodness.
In closing I want you to ponder on the following scriptures that talk about His promises.
2 Corinthians 1:20:
"For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God."
The YES is God's guaranty and your AMEN is you accepting that promise for your life
Romans 11:29:
"For God's gifts (His promises to you) and his call are irrevocable"
They are good forever! There is no expiry date or 'best before' stamp on God's promises.
Psalm 31:19:
"How great is the goodness you have stored up for those who fear you. You lavish it on those who come to you for protection, blessing them before the watching world."
God loves to lavish His goodness on you to show everybody around you that you are His child.
When can you expect God's promises, His gifts and goodness in your life? I pray that by now you are absolutely convinced that you can expect them every moment.
Why don't you make the scripture verses that I shared with you in this article the confession of your faith? Embrace the promises of God on a daily basis.
The prophet Isaiah in chapter 61:1-3 revealed the ministry of our Lord Jesus.
The Year of the LORD's Favour
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favour
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendour
Everything that Isaiah wrote about, God is doing for you. When? He will do it at any time because God is always on His highest point, like the sun at high noon. No turning of shadow! No 'buts' and no 'ifs'. God is ready to pour his gifts, blessings and goodness out over you like a gigantic flood.
Are you ready for it? I pray for you that you are.
God's Definition of Love
“Love patiently and passionately bears with others for as long as patience is needed;
Love doesn’t demand others to be like itself; rather, it is so focused on the needs of others that it bends over backwards to become what others need it to be;
Love is not ambitious, self-centered, or so consumed with itself that it never thinks of the needs or desires that others possess;
Love doesn’t go around talking about itself all the time, constantly exaggerating and embellishing the facts to make it look more important in the sight of others;
Love does not behave in a prideful, arrogant, haughty, superior, snooty, snobbish, or clannish manner;
Love is not rude and discourteous – it is not careless or thoughtless, nor does it carry on in a fashion that would be considered insensitive to others;
Love does not manipulate situations or scheme and devise methods that will twist situations to its own advantage;
Love does not deliberately engage in actions or speak words that are so sharp; they cause an ugly or violent response;
Love does not deliberately keep records of wrongs or past mistakes;
Love does not feel overjoyed when it sees an injustice done to someone else but is elated, thrilled, ecstatic, and overjoyed with the truth;
Love protects, shields, guards, covers, conceals, and safeguards people from exposure;
Love strains forward with all its might to believe the very best in every situation;
Love always expects and anticipates the best in others and the best for others;
Love never quits, never surrenders, and never gives up;
Love never disappoints, never fails, and never lets anyone down.”
Wow, what a tall order to fill. However, it is in the Word of God and He says that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. I believe that the first place we should practice this kind of love, God’s kind of love, is in our homes, with our spouse and children. I have also found that it’s the hardest place. It’s those we are most intimately related to that can offend and hurt us the most. Sometimes it’s much easier to let an offense go when it’s someone we aren’t in that close of a relationship with. But when it comes to those in our very own home, it seems like the most difficult thing in the world to do at times.
James 1:19 (Amplified) says “Understand this, my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and get angry”. When someone has offended us, it seems the first thing we want to do is open our mouths. When our spouse or children do something that has offended us, has caused us to feel hurt and become angry, if you’re anything like me, the last thing your flesh wants to do is walk in the God kind of love. If I may be quite honest, more often than not, my first thought isn’t to be patient and kind. I’m so thankful for 2 Corinthians 3:18 (Amplified) which says, “And all of us, as with unveiled face, [because we] continued to behold [in the Word of God] as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are constantly being transfigured into His very own image in ever increasing splendor and from one degree of glory to another; [for this comes] from the Lord [who is] the Spirit. What hope and encouragement there is in that scripture for me. As I continue to behold Him through the Word of God concerning His definition of love in this portion of Scripture in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, I am constantly being transfigured into His image and able to walk in this God kind of love.
When we have been offended by someones actions it is an occasion for us to stumble into sin. One of the definitions of offense in the Strong’s Lexicon #4625, is “occasion to fall”. It is also defined as a “stumbling block”. When we become offended and feel hurt and angry, it is an occasion to fall into the sin of unforgiveness. Then, if we are unwilling to forgive, that unforgiveness turns into bitterness and resentment. Needless to say, these things destroy relationship as well as poison your own soul. They cause divorces, break up of relationships between friends and family. The only way to keep that offense from taking root is to forgive the offense. We are commanded to forgive others as we have been forgiven.
There are times when we are to confront the one who has offended us. Luke 17:3 says, “…If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. There are many times I wish I would have prayed and asked the Lord if I am to speak to someone about an offense that I feel someone has committed against me. If I would have prayed first the Holy Spirit could have given me the right words to say and the right spirit in which to confront that person. When I go to someone with a judgmental attitude it will only stir up more strife. We must remember that we too, have been offensive to others at times. The whole point in going to the one who has offended you is that you might be reconciled, not so you can make sure that other person knows how rotten they treated you and what a low down scoundrel they have been. We must go with a humble attitude, desiring to clear the offense out of the way so that we can be reconciled with that person.
Well, I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I am going to print 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and meditate on it until love oozes out of me like honey. How many marriages, friendship, family relationships could be saved if we would love as God has loved us? We will make mistakes, but that’s what repentance and forgiveness have been given to us for. Relationships are the most important thing we have. Material things can be replaced, people can’t. Don’t wait another day to forgive and begin practicing loving as God does.
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