Conflict in Relationships and its Negative Effects

Some couples have serious issues with constantly arguing in a relationship. In many cases, fighting happens so often that it becomes a type of bad habit in the relationship, happening ridiculously frequently. Though it is sometimes hard to break that habit, just as it is with any habit, this type of interaction needs to cease. There are several reasons that this is a very unhealthy way to live. Firstly, this type of consistent fighting can lead to harsh words and feelings, and even violence. It makes friends and loved ones very uncomfortable around you, and it can ultimately cause a break up in the relationship.

The first nasty result of constant fighting and arguing in a relationship is that there are harsh words said that cause harsh feelings. Saying, I'm sorry, is often not enough of a band-aid for some people. Many times, when people are angry at each other, even if they care a great deal for each other, they say things that they later regret and, at the time, do not even mean. Even if the argument is over and all is forgiven, this type of harshness sometimes hangs over into the relationship far after the altercation is over. Another thing these types of arguments can lead to is physical violence from either party. This is definitely a place you do not want this arguing to escalate to.

Another thing that can happen if you happen to argue with each other in the company of other people is that people will no longer wish to be around you as a couple. Having someone argue in front of you makes for a very uncomfortable situation. If this happens on such a regular basis that you become known for it, people will begin to decline social invitations, and may begin to avoid you both all together. Being known for constantly bickering is not a good way to be remembered by friends.

One final bad result of arguing all the time with your mate is probably the most obvious. Eventually, the arguing will become tiresome and too hurtful to bear. When this happens, it ultimately could lead to the break up of the relationship. Though at the time, breaking up may be the desirable alternative to consistent bickering, it is probably not the ultimate desire when the relationship first started. If you can find a way to get past the things that have been said before and forgive, you may be able to keep the relationship from falling apart.

The negative effects of constantly arguing in a relationship are not just on you and your spouse, though those are enough. Negative effects include harsh words and hurt feelings, sometimes escalating to violence, making others uncomfortable around the both of you, and breaking up. While these are all devastating effects to the couple itself, it is also devastating to those who are around and care for the couple as well. This type of conflict in a relationship is so negative and unhealthy, and if it is possible to resolve, it should be for the sake of the relationship

How to Multiply God's Blessings

The way to multiply God’s blessings in your life is by applying the law of sowing and reaping. If a farmer wants a greater harvest, then he just has to sow more seeds into the ground. He has to prepare the field more carefully, take better care of the weeds and water more regularly. In this article I want to show you how to apply these principles to your spiritual life.

Many of God’s blessings come to us no matter what we do. They just flow to us out of the goodness of God. He is working his good pleasures in our life every single day and we are not even realizing it. His mercy and grace for instance. You can’t do a thing to increase his mercies and his grace. They are just there for you every single day and they are new every morning.

His protection – God watches over you every moment of your life. The Bible says that God’s eyes are on the sparrow and he watches over you. You are the apple of his eye. He is your rock. He is your fortress.

Many other blessings are a privilege that we enjoy just by being a child of God. But then there are many blessings that have a little clause: “If you will... – then I will...”

This is the principle of sowing and reaping. And you know that if a farmer wants a greater harvest, then he just has to sow more seeds into the ground. He has to prepare the field more carefully, take better care of the weeds and water more regularly.

In the same way, if you want to increase God’s blessings in your life, you have to sow more seeds, prepare the soil of your heart, take care of the weeds and keep your soil moist.

Sow more seeds

I like the New Living Translation. It says in Luke 6:38:

“Give and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full – pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”

Often we think about money when we read this verse. But the principle here is: whatever we give or sow will not only return to us. Your return will always be much greater than what you sowed. Do you need a financial harvest then don’t be tight with your money. You always need some seed. So do not use all your limited finances to meet your needs. You have to use some as seed. Start out with small amounts. Then, as God blesses your faithfulness, sow more and more seeds.

Are you longing for some good Christian friendships? Sow seeds! Start to be kind and concerned about others. Show them that you care about them. Start to encourage others! Tell them that you appreciate them. Help them in practical ways. And soon you will see that your seed will produce a harvest of good friendships.

Do you think that you have nothing to give, that you have no seeds? Just read 2 Corinthians 9:10

“For God is the one who provides seed for the farmer and then bread to eat. In the same way, he will provide and increase your resources and then produce a great harvest of generosity in you.”

Just ask God to show you what you can do, what you can sow and then step out in faith and plant your seeds in the ground. I promise you, your harvest is coming.

Prepare the soil

This does not need much explanation. Jesus says in Matthew 6:33:

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else (first), and live righteously (God’s way), and he will give you everything you need.”

Let me ask you a question: How much of your time, effort and resources goes towards the things of God? I tell you, I fall short on this one over and over again. That’s why we need to encourage each other to put God first. Isn’t it true, that we have time and money for so many things that we feel are so important. We have time to watch TV hours and hours. We spent time on our hobbies; we spend lots of money on our cars and so on. But we say we have no time to read the Bible. You will never find the time. You have to make the time for the most important things in your life: the things of God. The best way to prepare the soil of your heart to receive the blessings of God is to read and study the Bible, God’s living Word!

Let’s sum it up

The way to increase God’s blessings in your life is to understand the principle of sowing and reaping. If you give, you will receive. If you sow, you will reap. Ask God to show you what your seeds are and then step out in faith and sow those seeds and expect a plentiful harvest of God’s blessings.

God's promises of fruitful living... How do you assess it?

The Bible is filled with God's promises for you. The question is, when will you see His promises manifest themselves in your own personal life? When can you expect God's promises and blessings to show up at your doorstep?

I am going to give you the answer right now: You can expect all of God's promises every day and every moment of your life. You might receive His gifts and blessings right at this very moment as you read this article.

James 1:17 (New King James)
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.

First, God's gifts to you are always good and perfect. God never gives you second class gifts. His gifts will always be good and perfect for you. They will be a blessing to you. They will make you happy. They will increase and prosper you and they will satisfy you in your innermost being.

Secondly, God is eager to poor His blessings and gifts out over you. We read in James that every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
Other translations say: 'who does not change like shifting shadows'.

Now get this! Here is the picture: There is a sundial in the sand. It's a stick in the sand. And as the sun moves from rising to going down, the shadow of the stick turns. There is always a shifting shadow. Except for one time in the day there is NO shadow at all. What time of day is that? It is at high noon. When the sun is at its highest point there is no turning shadow, there is no shadow at all.

God is telling you, that He is always on His peak, the zenith! Rejoice, my friends, because God is ALLWAYS on the highest point. He is always ready to pour His good and perfect gifts and blessing into your life. He is always there! No sunrise and no sundown! He is never too tired to attend to you needs. He is never bothered by your requests! He is never occupied with other important tasks! He is always ready to pour His goodness into your life. Always, every moment of the day.

If I would be preaching this right now, I would make my audience shout a loud Hallelujah!

I want you to expect the goodness of the Lord at any time in your life. No matter what your circumstances are, expect the good and perfect gift from God in your life. Look for them! I am not talking just about the great and extraordinary things. I am talking about every little good thing that happens in your life. It is God pouring out His good gift over you. Be thankful and you will experience more and more of His goodness.

In closing I want you to ponder on the following scriptures that talk about His promises.

2 Corinthians 1:20:
"For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God."
The YES is God's guaranty and your AMEN is you accepting that promise for your life

Romans 11:29:
"For God's gifts (His promises to you) and his call are irrevocable"
They are good forever! There is no expiry date or 'best before' stamp on God's promises.

Psalm 31:19:
"How great is the goodness you have stored up for those who fear you. You lavish it on those who come to you for protection, blessing them before the watching world."
God loves to lavish His goodness on you to show everybody around you that you are His child.


When can you expect God's promises, His gifts and goodness in your life? I pray that by now you are absolutely convinced that you can expect them every moment.
Why don't you make the scripture verses that I shared with you in this article the confession of your faith? Embrace the promises of God on a daily basis.

The prophet Isaiah in chapter 61:1-3 revealed the ministry of our Lord Jesus.

The Year of the LORD's Favour
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favour
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendour

Everything that Isaiah wrote about, God is doing for you. When? He will do it at any time because God is always on His highest point, like the sun at high noon. No turning of shadow! No 'buts' and no 'ifs'. God is ready to pour his gifts, blessings and goodness out over you like a gigantic flood.
Are you ready for it? I pray for you that you are.

God's Definition of Love

“Love patiently and passionately bears with others for as long as patience is needed;

Love doesn’t demand others to be like itself; rather, it is so focused on the needs of others that it bends over backwards to become what others need it to be;

Love is not ambitious, self-centered, or so consumed with itself that it never thinks of the needs or desires that others possess;

Love doesn’t go around talking about itself all the time, constantly exaggerating and embellishing the facts to make it look more important in the sight of others;

Love does not behave in a prideful, arrogant, haughty, superior, snooty, snobbish, or clannish manner;

Love is not rude and discourteous – it is not careless or thoughtless, nor does it carry on in a fashion that would be considered insensitive to others;

Love does not manipulate situations or scheme and devise methods that will twist situations to its own advantage;

Love does not deliberately engage in actions or speak words that are so sharp; they cause an ugly or violent response;

Love does not deliberately keep records of wrongs or past mistakes;

Love does not feel overjoyed when it sees an injustice done to someone else but is elated, thrilled, ecstatic, and overjoyed with the truth;

Love protects, shields, guards, covers, conceals, and safeguards people from exposure;

Love strains forward with all its might to believe the very best in every situation;

Love always expects and anticipates the best in others and the best for others;

Love never quits, never surrenders, and never gives up;

Love never disappoints, never fails, and never lets anyone down.”

Wow, what a tall order to fill. However, it is in the Word of God and He says that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. I believe that the first place we should practice this kind of love, God’s kind of love, is in our homes, with our spouse and children. I have also found that it’s the hardest place. It’s those we are most intimately related to that can offend and hurt us the most. Sometimes it’s much easier to let an offense go when it’s someone we aren’t in that close of a relationship with. But when it comes to those in our very own home, it seems like the most difficult thing in the world to do at times.

James 1:19 (Amplified) says “Understand this, my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and get angry”. When someone has offended us, it seems the first thing we want to do is open our mouths. When our spouse or children do something that has offended us, has caused us to feel hurt and become angry, if you’re anything like me, the last thing your flesh wants to do is walk in the God kind of love. If I may be quite honest, more often than not, my first thought isn’t to be patient and kind. I’m so thankful for 2 Corinthians 3:18 (Amplified) which says, “And all of us, as with unveiled face, [because we] continued to behold [in the Word of God] as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are constantly being transfigured into His very own image in ever increasing splendor and from one degree of glory to another; [for this comes] from the Lord [who is] the Spirit. What hope and encouragement there is in that scripture for me. As I continue to behold Him through the Word of God concerning His definition of love in this portion of Scripture in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, I am constantly being transfigured into His image and able to walk in this God kind of love.

When we have been offended by someones actions it is an occasion for us to stumble into sin. One of the definitions of offense in the Strong’s Lexicon #4625, is “occasion to fall”. It is also defined as a “stumbling block”. When we become offended and feel hurt and angry, it is an occasion to fall into the sin of unforgiveness. Then, if we are unwilling to forgive, that unforgiveness turns into bitterness and resentment. Needless to say, these things destroy relationship as well as poison your own soul. They cause divorces, break up of relationships between friends and family. The only way to keep that offense from taking root is to forgive the offense. We are commanded to forgive others as we have been forgiven.

There are times when we are to confront the one who has offended us. Luke 17:3 says, “…If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. There are many times I wish I would have prayed and asked the Lord if I am to speak to someone about an offense that I feel someone has committed against me. If I would have prayed first the Holy Spirit could have given me the right words to say and the right spirit in which to confront that person. When I go to someone with a judgmental attitude it will only stir up more strife. We must remember that we too, have been offensive to others at times. The whole point in going to the one who has offended you is that you might be reconciled, not so you can make sure that other person knows how rotten they treated you and what a low down scoundrel they have been. We must go with a humble attitude, desiring to clear the offense out of the way so that we can be reconciled with that person.

Well, I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I am going to print 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and meditate on it until love oozes out of me like honey. How many marriages, friendship, family relationships could be saved if we would love as God has loved us? We will make mistakes, but that’s what repentance and forgiveness have been given to us for. Relationships are the most important thing we have. Material things can be replaced, people can’t. Don’t wait another day to forgive and begin practicing loving as God does.

WHAT MAKES A GOOD FRIEND?

WHAT MAKES A GOOD FRIEND?

Everyone needs friends. It is the second most basic relationship in life. Jesus said that the two most important commandments are to love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. We often experience God's love through the love of a friend. People usually don't care if they have a friend in Jesus until they see that they have a friend in us. Proverbs clearly tells us what makes a good friend - how to develop and maintain meaningful friendships.

We’ll look at some covenant supplement for a good friendly life.

1. Faithfulness. Friends do not desert each other when times are bad.

Proverbs 17:17 - A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 27:10 - Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother's house when disaster strikes you - better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.

One of the greatest friendships in the Bible was that of David and Jonathan. When Jonathan's father, King Saul hated David enough to kill him, Jonathan protected David. (Read the story in I Samuel 20:30-33.)

2. Keeping confidences. Friends do not gossip.

Proverbs 16:28 - A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.

Proverbs 11:13 - A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.

As a friend you'll know details and secrets of your friend's life. Friends do not gossip. Gossip is telling detrimental things about another person to someone who is not a part of the problem or the solution. Friends know when to tell someone else (such as in cases of abuse) and when to keep confidences.

3. Kindness. Friends do not carry jokes or pranks too far.

Proverbs 26:18-19 - Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, "I was only joking!"

Fathers can help their children by teaching them the difference between a joke or harmless prank and going too far.

4. Do not co-sign for each other. Friends encourage each other to live within their means.

Money is often the cause of bitterness between close friends.

Proverbs 6:1-5 - My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor, if you have struck hands in pledge for another, if you have been trapped by what you said, ensnared by the words of your mouth, then do this my son, to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbor's hands: Go and humble yourself; press your plea with your neighbor! Allow no sleep to your eyes, no slumber to your eyelids. Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler.

Proverbs 17:18 - A man lacking in judgment strikes hands in pledge and puts up security for his neighbor.

When you co-sign, you accept responsibility for the debts of others. When you co-sign you are enabling your friend to buy something he cannot afford. The Bible calls that "putting up security" or being "surity."

When we were first married, we decided to buy a vacuum cleaner. Even though we had the money to buy it, the salesman told us that we could delay the payment for three months if we put it on credit. We thought that was a good idea. Why pay for it now if we can wait three months? The problem was that they wouldn't qualify us for the payment plan since we didn't have a credit history. Neither of us had ever had a credit card. The salesman suggested that we ask someone to co-sign the loan. So, we asked a Christian friend. Fortunately for us, he knew the teaching of Proverbs better than we did. He showed us these verses and refused to co-sign. We were grateful for the Biblical instruction and bought the vacuum cleaner with cash. Our friend knew what makes a good friend.

It is best to encourage your friends to buy only what they can afford. When someone wants something they can't afford, encourage them to save until they can buy it. If your friend is truly in need, it is better to give them a gift rather than to loan or co-sign.

5. Generosity. Friends do not turn away when their friend is in need.

Proverbs 3:28 - Do not say to your neighbor, "Come back later; I'll give it tomorrow" - when you now have it with you.

We have all been given the same amount of time - 24 hours a day. Even with our busy lives, it amazes me how many people have time to give to their friends. When my wife was sick for a prolonged period of time many friends helped us. They brought in meals, did the ironing, ran errands and prayed for us. Many hours were given. Did they have nothing else to do? Were their days empty? I don't think so. These were acts of friendship.

6. Forgiveness. Friends do not seek revenge.

Proverbs 24:29 - Do not say, "I'll do to him as he has done to me; I'll pay that man back for what he did."

Proverbs 20:22 - Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.

Our fallen human nature says, "Don't get mad - get even." Jesus says we must forgive - not 7 times, but 70 X 7. Other than Jesus, every friend is imperfect. We must be ready to forgive our friends, just like they have to forgive us.

7. Bringing out the best in each other. Friends do not ask their friends to participate in sin. They look out for each other.

Proverbs 16:29 - A violent man entices his neighbor and leads him down a path that is not good.

Proverbs 22:24 - Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.

On October 24, 2008 the Daily Mail (a British newspaper), stated that a female police constable appeared in court charged with burglary and misconduct in public office after she allegedly abused her position to help her friends commit crimes.

This 26-year-old woman is said to have passed on confidential information from police computer systems to her boyfriend and others. She is also accused of helping a friend to steal thousands of pounds from a shop by listening to traffic on her police radio to warn him if police were on his tail.

This is not the behavior of true friends.

8. Telling the truth - even if it is "bad news". Friends do not with-hold the truth in order to save the other person's feelings.

Proverbs 27:17 - As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:6 - Wounds from a friend can be trusted.

Proverbs 27:9 - The pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.

A girl saw her friend doing something that was self-destructive. What would a friend do? If she confronted her or told her parents, it would certainly ruin their friendship.

A man saw a friend acting in a way that would probably destroy his friend's family. What would a friend do? In this case, he did nothing because he didn't want to lose the friendship.

True friends put the needs of a friend before their own need to keep the friendship.

We all need someone who will tell us the truth in a loving way. It is hard to grow without the help of our friends. It's never easy, but when you must tell someone the truth, use this approach: speak calmly, clearly, directly, honestly and respectfully. This is how Jesus would confront someone.

9. Unselfishness. Friends look out for the interests of each other.

Proverbs 17:17 - A friend loves at all time.

Proverbs 18:1 - A unfriendly man pursues selfish ends.

On August 5, 1936, at the Berlin Olympic Stadium it was a little past nine in the evening. The pole vault event had lasted longer than expected.

The final three competitors were Earl Meadows of the United States and two close friends from Japan, Shuhei Nishida and Sueo Oe. The bar was at 14 feet 3 1/4 inches, which Earl Meadows cleared on his second try. Nishida and James missed all three attempts. The two Japanese continued to jump for second and third place, but the competition ended without a conclusion when it became too dark to continue. 

James and I went back to the Olympic Village certain we had tied, since we both jumped identical heights," Nishida remembered. (At that time they did not have a tie breaking rule.)

The officials decided to award the silver medal to Nishida. They never fully explained their reasoning. Oe was awarded the bronze. Nishida was not happy with the decision. When they got back to Japan both Oe and Nishida decided to cut their medals in half. Then they joined half of the silver medal with half of the bronze medal for each of them. The medals were called the Medals of Eternal Friendship.

Soon after Oe was killed in World War II. His medal is on display at the National Stadium in Tokyo. What an unselfish act on the part of a friend.

At the end of the day, what makes a good friend? Practicing the golden rule. Friends treat each other as they would like to be treated.

Jesus said, "I have called you friends." John 15:15. How does Jesus treat us? That's our best example of what makes a good friend.

You can be a good friend like JESUS!

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FRIENDSHIP: NOT WHAT YOU THINK…

The scripture of Mark 2:1–5 records one of my favorite biblical story of friendship. It is about four men who took their paralyzed friend to Jesus to be healed. As I reflected on the story, I could not help but be amazed at their tenacity in going the extra mile for their friend.

In my imagination, I believe that they had heard about Jesus and his amazing powers of healing and decided to take their friend to see him. They got him ready and went to the house where Jesus was preaching. As they approached the house, they saw a large number of people. “So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them” (Mark 2:2). The crowd was so huge, try as they might pushing bodies aside to force a gap, they could not get to the front door. Nevertheless, they were not about to give up. They walked around the house looking for a window or some opening that they could get their friend through; however, they were unsuccessful. Then they decided to try the roof! They most likely had to build a makeshift ladder or devise some other method of lifting their friend up to the roof. I picture them carrying him precariously up the side of the house, pulling and pushing as they found footholds to make their way to the roof. The wobbly ride up may have been scary for the sick friend, but the thought of being healed would have put aside his fear. Once they got up on the roof, they had to identify the exact spot where Jesus was in the house and then began digging there. It probably took them some time to dig through the roof because it was no small peephole, but an opening large enough to pass their friend through. However, they did it! “Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on” (Mark 2:4).

Visualize, if you can, the face of the owner of the house as he saw a hole appearing in his roof. Most likely, his eyes bulged and mouth opened wide as he gazed up again and again in disbelief. His first thought was probably that it might be rodents, but as the hole got larger and larger right before his eyes, he knew that could not possibly be the case. He may have tried to make his way outside to see what was going on but got stuck because of the crowd. Surely, he must have been distraught as he witnessed the destruction of his property. Others too may have been looking up, incredulous at seeing the paralytic being lowered into the house.

In our lives today we can certainly learn from the actions of these men in building friendships of our own. It is great to have one best friend, but how much more enriched our lives would be if we have a few best friends. Think about the wealth of love that can exist through these friendships. We can have best friends in different areas, at different times, and for a short or long period in our lives. They can come in different shapes, sizes, and ethnicities, and with a range of emotions from joy to pain. What is important with valued relationships is that we invest the time to nourish them. Friends often are a reflection of who we are and they help to mold and shape us. It is said that we attract friends who bring out either the worst or best in us. But we should bring the best of ourselves so as to form authentic relationships. Friends don’t have to be perfect, but they should be genuine. The men who persevered with their sick friend exhibited true qualities that any good friend should possess: faithfulness, caring, trust, patience, persistence, and love. Today we can build, or strengthen, our friendships by their example.

Faithfulness

These men did not just take their friend to see Jesus and leave him there. Nor, did they turn away when they saw the crowd. Sometimes friends leave when the going gets rough. One might lose money, job, or home, and the friends that one counted on do not stick around. Obviously, these types are not true friends and were probably in the relationship for all the wrong reasons. We need friends who are reliable and who will come through for us. Of course, there will be times when one friend cannot meet an immediate need (which is another reason why we should have many best friends), but the reason should not be unfaithfulness or lack of trying to accommodate the need. We are also tested when one of our friends is unavailable. If our relationship is authentic, we should be understanding rather than resentful. The four men were faithful and they never gave up, but stood by their sick friend’s side until he was healed. Look at the marvelous gift they received because of their faith—their friend was freed of his illness!

Caring

This probably was not the first time they sought a cure for their friend. Through his illness the friends most likely took him to doctors and healers, and perhaps even nursed him themselves. There may have been times when the sick friend wanted to give up, but the friends would encourage and uplift him. It is good to be surrounded by friends in times of need. Their support and prayers help to sustain us, and their presence can soothe us. Of course, one must be open to receiving help. Sometimes a person may hide a need, hindering another from being a blessing to them. God gave some of us the gifts of sharing and caring and this may be the only way we can help. True friends take off the barriers laying bare the needs, and the care is lovingly given.

Trust

The sick friend put his life into the hands of his friends, and they came through for him. He also trusted them not to drop him as they carried him up the building and then lowered him down through the hole. It is good to have several friends who are loyal and can be called on in any emergency; with whom we can speak freely and confidentially, knowing they will not betray us; and with whom we can share our dreams and aspirations, knowing that they want the best for our lives. They are complete in themselves; hence there is no jealously or competition with each other. Nonetheless, trusting someone is not always easy. We do not like to reveal our emotions and struggles, and in the process of holding back and hiding our hurts we lose out on forming great friendships. Trust is a two-way street. We have to earn the trust of others by proving that we are responsible and can be held accountable.

Patience

I am sure there may have been times when the sick friend or the others were tired and wanted to give up. Dealing with that kind of illness, especially with the stigma attached to it, could not have been easy. It called for a tenacious spirit. When things go wrong in any kind of friendship, we have to be patient and ride the waves of dissention until things get right again. These are not the times to wander away or get caught up in one’s own life. There will be occasions when the issue is as simple as a difference of opinion, but one may see it as a monumental problem. It may be easy to solve the problem if the friend changes a pattern of behavior that is destructive. However, the friend may not see it your way or believe that there is anything wrong with the behavior. In such cases, one has to be patient in letting the friend sort it out, but be available to support and comfort when the friend is ready.

Persistence

The friends of the sick man showed up and took action. They persevered and he benefited from their determination. There will be times when we have to push a friend beyond what she believes she is capable of, which may entail telling some truths that she is uncomfortable in facing. Persistence can also take the form of assisting her with completing a college application, urging her to follow up on her dreams, or simply being on the other end of the phone in the middle of the night. Even when we are unable to be there physically, a friend should still know that she can depend on us at all times. 

Love

I cannot say what brought these friends together, but they shared a common bond of love for their friend. I think that when they reached the building and observed that there was no way of getting through the door, they evaluated the situation, came up with a plan, and executed it. They were unified in that goal and were successful despite the odds. I am inspired by their audacity and fortitude. This exhibition of love stood the test of time. It surely was a mental and physical strain on all of them, but their love conquered all and their efforts were rewarded when Jesus forgave the friend's sins and he got up and walked.

“When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, ‘Son, your sins are forgiven" (Mark 2:5). Similarly, our friendships should demonstrate this kind of love for each other. For those who do enjoy such relationships, what a joy to their souls. For those who do not, what a blessing to receive.

Covenant prerequisite for Supernatural Empowerment.

Every empowerment has a cost price; it is neither free nor cheap. In the adventure for God’s power, one prerequisite that is a must is Consecration. It is a price you have to pay. Consecration is a vital prerequisite for God’s visitation. (Ex. 19:10,11; Matt. 5:8). God demands for it from everyone who desires empowerment (acts 2: 38).

What is consecration?

Consecration  is separation from sin and separation unto God. It is a process of cleansing, washing and purging to prepare us for God’s usefulness.

Why is consecration necessary? God is holy and He inhabits only holy vessels. Every time God wants to do  mighty He looks for consecrated vessels. It is your cleanliness that guarantee your usefulness. (1Sam. 12:3-5).

Consecration brings us into alignment  with God. It is the key that determines your levels of empowerment. God assesses you on the index of consecration to determine the measure of power to give to you. Sin is power-pollutant and a sinker. Sin turns God’s eye away from you while righteousness draws His attention towards you. “The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteousness…(Ps.34:15, Habaku 1:13).

Sin manifests itself through our carnal desires which are called the deeds of the flesh. That is why the scripture commands us expressly to mortify these vices, “Mortify therefore your members….fornication, uncleanliness, inordinate affection, covetousness…” Col.3:5,6.  

How do I arrive at consecration?

Consecration is unattainable without  the help of the Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit that keeps us away from sin. The Bible says ‘walk in the spirit and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. Gal. 5:16. Nothing destroys the works of the flesh like the Holy Spirit. When you are in the Spirit, sin no longer have power over you.

The Holy Spirit is the mortifier that helps to destroy the deeds of the flesh (Rom. 8:13). Also, He energizes us with  the spirit of love for righteousness (2Tim. 1:7; Ps. 45:6-7). When you live  by this Spirit you lose taste for fornication, stealing and covetousness, etc. This  is why we must engage the power of the Holy Ghost at all times for consecration.

How do I engage the Holy Spirit for Consecration?

Praying  in the Holy Ghost  increases your affection for God and hatred for sin (Jude. 1:20). Praying constantly in the Spirit  draws you closer to God, it keeps you clean, purifiers your thoughts and make you holy, sanctified and consecrated.

Sin  is not ordinary. It is described  as mystery because there are many things people do and yet don’t  know why they do it. (@Thes. 2:7). You can only deal with  those mysteries  by engaging the mysterious language of the Holy Spirit.

Satan is not after your flesh but after the Holy Spirit inside you. He wants to disconnect you from your source of power by making you indulge in sin. Call for the help  of the Holy Spirit everyday in prayers against  the spirit of iniquity. Pray for the baptism of the spirit of Holiness in order to enjoy ceaseless  flow of God’s power in your life.

PURPOSE OF LIFE ON EARTH

There must be some meaning to humanity's mixture of awesome abilities and awful atrocities. What is the ultimate purpose and meaning of your life?

What would you ask the Supreme Being if you could get a direct and immediate answer? A poll in USA Today reports that the No. 1 question people would like to ask God is "What's my purpose here?"

With all our technology and sophistication we still haven't answered the fundamental question of what is the purpose and value of human life. It seems Henry David Thoreau's observation that most people live lives of "quiet desperation" is all too true.

 MAKE IT GOD WAY
Where would you even start to discover the purpose for your life? Can you find it in psychological tests or philosophy? Aptitude tests might help you pinpoint your abilities. Personality evaluations could conceivably help you focus on aspects of who you are. But the social sciences can't explain why you live.

The place to begin

The complexity and interdependency of nature around us, the miracle of life itself, reveal a Life Giver, a Creator. Would it make sense that a brilliant Life Giver would create intelligent beings without purpose? "What's my purpose here?" can ultimately be answered only by the Creator of life.
Western society claims to have its roots in Christianity, yet the last place many people search to find purpose in life is the Bible. The Bible reveals a special creation with a special purpose. The first book of the Bible is Genesis, which simply means "beginning." Here is the Bible's first sentence: "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth."
God then created a unique biological being called man. Genesis 2:7 states, "And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being."
Does this mean that man is just another animal, different in form but essentially the same as a chimpanzee or other mammal?

The theory of evolution would lead us to that conclusion, but evolution doesn't explain the obvious differences between humanity and animals. How do we explain the human ability to create music and art, discover and use geometry, develop architecture or invent complex forms of communication?

Instinct and intellect

A slug or a spider is driven entirely by instinctive behavior. The more complex the life-form, the more it can learn. Yet the behaviors of even the supposedly highest forms of animals are primarily instinctive. This isn't true of humanity.
Mortimer J. Adler, in his book Ten Philosophical Mistakes, makes the point that if we compare animals with man "a radical difference appears. In the strict sense of the term instinct, the human species has no instincts—no innate, performed patterns of behavior. We have a small number of innate reflexes, only some of which are congenital. We also have what might be called instinctual drives or impulses. But in carrying these impulses out, members of the human species behave in a wide variety of ways. They do not all manifest a single pattern of behavior, such as we find in all members of a particular species of bee, ant or termite" (1985, p. 31).
This ability to reason and make complex decisions and choose courses of action makes humans infinitely different from any animal. The differences between the quality or quantity of the human brain and the brains of other mammals aren't sufficient to explain the vast differences in function. When it comes to size, some mammals have larger brains than humans' while others have a higher brain-to-body ratio than that of humans.
The difference between other mammals and human beings—the ability to reason, create, communicate emotions, experience love and empathy—are all aspects of what we call the mind.
Adler concludes: "The relation of the sensory powers to the brain and nervous system is such that the degree to which an animal species possesses these powers depends on the size and complexity of its brain and nervous system. This is not the case in regard to the intellectual powers. That the human mind has such powers does not depend upon the size or complexity of the human brain. The action of the brain is only a necessary, but not the sufficient, condition for the functioning of the human mind and for the operations of conceptual thought. We do not think with our brains, even though we cannot think without them" (pp. 52-53).

What is the human mind?

Brain size and biology can't explain humanity's uniqueness. So what creates the differences?
Once again we turn to the Bible. In the creation account we see that God created each animal "according to its kind," but human beings are in the "image" and "likeness" of God (Genesis 1:24-28).
Creativity, positive emotions, logic, love, abstract thought, communication skills—these are aspects of the mind of the Creator. These are ways in which He has created us in His likeness.
Notice what the Bible says in Job 32:8: "But there is a spirit in man, and the breath of the Almighty gives him understanding." One of the biblical prophets, Zechariah, declares that God "forms the spirit of man within him" (Zechariah 12:1).
Mankind and animals are both living "souls," or beings. Both are subject to death, the cessation of life. The difference is that man possesses a nonphysical component called a spirit that imparts individuality, intellect, creativity and personality.
The Bible reveals the mystery science can't solve. We are physical, chemical beings with a nonbiological component—a spirit—a mind that is in a limited way like the mind of the Creator. But, if human beings are like God in so many astonishing ways, why can't we solve our own problems?

An incomplete creation

Why are human beings capable of writing inspiring music and also able to commit terrible crimes against each other? We research into the intricate human body and create medicines that heal, yet we produce nerve gas that kills. We send a rocket to explore outer space but send a missile hundreds or thousands of miles to destroy a city.
If mankind is made in the image of God—who reveals Himself as loving, kind and merciful—why are we so filled with hatred, violence and selfishness? The answers lie in understanding that we are an incomplete creation.
Genesis reveals the root cause of humanity's evil. The first humans, Adam and Eve, were given freedom to choose between their Creator's instruction about life and a way simply called the "knowledge of good and evil." They chose the latter, the knowledge of good and evil.
God told Adam and Eve that once they started on the course of self-determination they would embark on a path that would ultimately lead to death. Evil—what the Bible calls sin—brings about death. History is a story of good and bad, of incredible potential and incredible failure. It is also a story of death. It seems that humanity's destiny is to struggle, suffer and eventually die.
Central to the Christian religion is the belief that Jesus of Nazareth is the Son of God who took humanity's death penalty upon Himself. Jesus also came to supply the missing ingredient to make eternal life possible. On the night before His crucifixion Jesus told His disciples He would send them another "Helper" (John 14:15-18).
The apostle Paul wrote to Christians in Corinth about the missing ingredient that keeps humanity from solving its problems: "... We speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God ordained before the ages for our glory, which none of the rulers of this age knew; for had they known, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.
"But as it is written: 'Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.' But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. For what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of man which is in him? Even so no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God" (1 Corinthians 2:7-11).
Here Paul writes that mankind knows the things of mankind-reason, creativity, mathematics—because of the "spirit of man." This spirit is what makes us have similarities to God and gives us the ability to have a relationship with Him. Paul shows that to really understand the spiritual nature of God we must also receive the Spirit of God.
The Spirit of God is the missing ingredient in humanity. Without it human beings become both good and evil, lacking the wisdom to always see and choose the good. Death is the natural result. The death process must be reversed and a new nature developed in us. Peter puts it succinctly when he writes that we must become "partakers of the divine nature" (2 Peter 1:4).

God's purpose for you

Humanity's problems—from agriculture to economics to education to government to family relationships to individual emotional health—are ultimately spiritual in nature. Real solutions require not just a change in environment but a change in people.
Our first parents chose to participate in both good and evil. Not just Adam and Eve, but every human being who has ever lived—except Jesus Christ—has made the same choice. The result is that every human suffers and dies. Jesus came to pay the death penalty for evil. He also came to make available to people the Spirit of God, the healing, missing ingredient that will change corrupt human nature into divine nature.
What is your ultimate destiny? What awaits those who are willing to be changed by God's Spirit from corrupted human nature to become partakers of the divine?
Paul explains in Romans 8:14-17: "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by [which] we cry out, 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit [itself] bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together."
The purpose of humanity is to become the spiritual children of God! The purpose for your life is more than making money, gaining social status and wearing the right clothes. The coupling of the human spirit with the Spirit of God makes possible the development of a new nature and eventually a resurrection to a new life as immortal children of God, joint heirs with Jesus of all things.

This is the ultimate potential of every human being.

But this isn't just a nebulous promise of something in the far-off future. The Creator says you can enjoy a Father—child relationship with Him now. There are real solutions to your problems. There is hope for those willing to discover their true purpose. The first step on that road of discovery is to turn to the Creator and His instruction book.

culled from thisistheday.org

by Gary Petty

How to make Money God's Way

Many Christians believe that God wants them to prosper, but they have become content with sitting and waiting for God to drop money into their laps. The Bible teaches that God blesses the work of your hand, but if your hand isn't doing anything, there is nothing for Him to bless. Dr. Anderson explains the process of experiencing God's blessing through wise investment and the resulting increase of wealth. Becoming A Millionaire God's Way is an invaluable resource for anyone who dreams of being an investor or an entrepreneur but never knew where to start. God's plan for His children is prosperity.

The first step in achieving wealth is to answer a simple question: "Where am I right now?"

This task may prove a little disconcerting, but it is important for two reasons. First of all, most people are nowhere near arriving at the financial position they ought to be. Don't be concerned about this fact, but be aware. Don't throw up your hands in despair and give up; instead, let this reality inspire you to make some changes. Be concerned in the sense that you know you have some work to do-which means bringing your finances under control so you can do something with them.

Secondly, and more importantly, if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you need to start. Most people don't even know how much money they have in their checkbook, much less where it is going. Many don't even know how to balance their checkbook. Find out where you are starting from.

To begin this process you need to establish your net worth.

This is a simple matter of listing all of your assets and how much they are worth. If you converted everything you own into cash, how much would you have?

You must be very objective in this task in order to assemble an accurate picture. An inflated and unrealistic appraisal of your assets will probably make you feel good about yourself, but it won't help you reach the goal of becoming wealthy. Be objective and realistic:

For example, if you bought a refrigerator for $1,000 one month ago, you cannot count it as a $1,000 asset today. If you try to sell it you might only get $300 for it, so in reality it is a $300 dollar asset. If you are making payments on it and still owe $500, then it does not even count as an asset.

Determine how much equity you have in your house, your furniture, your car, everything you own. When you add all the figures together, this is your net worth.

Now determine what your net worth should be at this point in your life. Take your taxable income for the last year and multiply it by your age. (If computing these numbers for a husband and wife together, use either person's age, but you will be better using the older one.) Divide that number by ten and you will have the amount your net worth should be at this point in your life. By subtracting your actual net worth you can see how far off you are.

If you are like most people, the resulting figure will be far below your potential. Though some are starting at this figure,

Determining What Your Net Worth Should Be

Sample of figuring what net worth should be.

Taxable Income for last year: 50,000

Age (in years): 50

$50,000

x 50

$2,500,000 divided by 10 =

$250,000 liquid net worth

Most  people are behind. And even if you are behind, you now have a goal to work toward. This number of what amount should be your net worth is only a guideline, however; don't let it become a limit. There is no reason you can't achieve hundreds of times that amount.

The next question to consider: "Now that I know where I am, how did I get here?" This is the focus of the rest of the chapter. It is not an accident of fate that you are where you are. Your current financial picture is the result of a combination of decisions you have made in the past. If you do not change the choices you made in the past, you will end up in the same place in the future. If you are not satisfied with where you are, then you must change some things or the same patterns will continue and you will remain in the same place in the future. Proverbs 23:7 says it very simply, "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." Ultimately your thoughts from yesterday put you where you are today. If you are in poverty today it is because you thought and accepted poverty yesterday. If you want to be a millionaire tomorrow, you must start thinking like a millionaire today.

How does a millionaire think? A millionaire who loses all his money will begin immediately to look for ways to make it all back again. His first thought is of where he can invest. A millionaire who goes broke today will earn it back many times over. We hear about the one who lost all his money in the stock market and jumped out of a window, but we don't hear about the dozens, even hundreds, who make it all back the next day or the next week. A millionaire thinks of how much he will make, not how much he lost.

Knowing where you came from will help you make necessary changes. The bad thought patterns you have today are really habitual. Though you have had them for so long that you may think of them as natural, you weren't born with them. You learned them somewhere, mainly from your parents, your family, and your experiences. Those patterns of thinking began in childhood and have influenced your life choices and even the kind of work you have looked for.

BECOMING A CHILD

The first phone call came early on Friday morning. Quinten was having trouble breathing, and they were on their way to the emergency room. I said a quick prayer and — knowing I was scheduled to be alone in the office and didn't have any chance of taking off — left for work.


The second call came at lunchtime. My daughter told me Quinten was on his way to a hospital in Indianapolis — and his father was on his way to jail.


Shaken Baby Syndrome. Huh?



Quinten's father was a nice guy — a CNA who lovingly cared for dozens of elderly patients. How could the authorities accuse him of abusing a child?



He had confessed.



Quinten's brain was swollen. He had multiple broken bones. Despite the confession, no family members would be permitted to see or visit Quinten while the authorities pursued their investigation.



Hours later, I was with my daughter when the caseworker declared firmly:



He WILL be blind. He WILL be severely retarded. IF he lives the weekend.



The story was on the front page of Saturday's newspaper. No names.



When we went to church Sunday morning "the baby in the paper" was at the top of the prayer list.



I heard later that most of the churches in Muncie had prayed for "the baby in the paper".



Other people prayed too. The uncle who hadn't spoken to God since he was ten — who blamed God for letting his Daddy die — prayed.



The uncle who believes in "science" — not "religion" — prayed.



Quinten was in the hospital for several months.



Weeks after he was released from the hospital, my daughter called. "I think he can SEE," she said. His therapist cautioned her about "wishful thinking." The therapist did some tests. The results: Quinten HAD regained his sight.



A few months later, we were babysitting Quinten on a Friday evening. Tim began to sing "Jesus Loves Me" to Quinten. Every time Tim said the name "Jesus", Quinten pointed up toward heaven.



When Heather came to pick up the baby, we told her about the song, and asked her who had taught Quinten where Jesus was. "Nobody", she said. "He just knows."



We give God praise, honor, and glory for Quinten's sight. For touching the hearts of his uncles (one has promised to start attending church with us; the other now acknowledges that he believes in God, but not in "religion"). For knowing "the baby in the paper"—-and for letting Quinten know Him.